Afraid {Five Minute Friday}

 

How many times have I opened up this white page to write with no words making it to the screen? This desire to write, one that had been long lost for so much time, resurfaced as a new mom simply wanting to connect with her family from afar. Then, suddenly the internet boomed with mommy blogs, decorating blogs, whatever you could ever imagine blogs, and I wanted to be apart of it. Could this be the path God has laid out for me? Will this be how he uses me? But what if I'm wrong? How do I know this is my purpose? Why isn't this easier if it's what I'm called to be doing?

I'm simply afraid.

I'm afraid to invest time in something that could embarrass me. What if I fail? What if I never measure up to the others who have so diligently been writing during my years of fear? I'm so far behind now. What if I embarrass my family? Will my children think I'm crazy when they grow up and read the words I wrote during their toddler years? How can I love something so much, yet be so afraid to do it?

A Lesson on Fear {Just in time for Allume!}

As soon as I got comfortably seated at my computer a few nights ago I heard a cry from the boys' bedroom. It had been storming and the thunder was loud and the lightening bright outside the windows. Our youngest was scared because we forgot to turn the night light on in his room and the storm outside didn't help his case.

I walked in and asked him what was wrong and listened to his tearful, panicked voice. Despite the fact that Daddy had already been in to turn the night light on, his little heart was still fearful. So, we did what my husband and I try to teach the boys to do when they're scared - We prayed.

I laid my hand on my sweet little boy's back and began praying that the holy spirit would be with him, that He would bring peace. I began thanking God for the rain and how it brings water to the grass and the trees and the crops in the field. I thanked God for the thunder and the lightening that shows the hand of a mighty God who created this earth and everything in it. I spoke Jeremiah 29:11 to reassure my little one that God has plans for our good. And I thanked God for loving us, for providing a safe home where we're protected, and for letting me be this little boy's mommy who's entrusted with loving, protecting, and teaching him.

As we finished praying there was a noticeable calmness in Jackson's breathing, to the point where I wondered if he had fallen asleep. He hadn't, he just turned and looked at me and flashed his signature big grin, told me he needed to go potty just one more time {a nightly declaration in hopes of having just a few more minutes before having to go to bed}, and then snuggled his favorite stuffed doggy and went right to sleep.

I gave myself a figurative pat-on-the-back for a mommy job-well-done and came back to my computer where I stumbled upon two posts that really stirred my heart. One from Kristen Welch at InCourage and one from Alia at Narrow Paths to Higher Places. {You really should read both of those!} I connected with both of these posts so deeply because I have been the girl that they both wrote about so many times. The new girl, the girl looking for a place to fit amongst people already in their comfort zone. I lived it in middle school, in college, as soon as I got married and moved away from my beloved Tennessee {and all my sweet family that make Tennessee home}, and I've been living it again over the last three years that we've lived in Southern Illinois. And now I'm on the verge of jumping in the unknown again as I head to my very first blogging conference today.

I'm excited to go, and I completely feel like it's something God has called me to, but if I'm honest, I'm also completely terrified. I've watched the twitter steams and facebook posts of internet friends who can't wait to meet or reconnect in real life, and I'm truly excited for them, but I'm also scared that in the midst of all these women kindling friendships I'll be awkwardly walking around solo praying for someone to notice me and think I'm worth having a chat with.

Overwhelmed with my fears, I walked into the living room, announced to my husband I was going to bed for the night where he instead talked me into sitting with him for a few minutes. As I sat there I started thinking about what had happened earlier with Jackson and how I prayed for him when he was scared, and it hit me. Why am I not praying about my own fear? I should be thanking God for the wisdom I know is going to rain down on us while we're gathered together. I should be thanking God for the loud noise of women's conversations as they we fellowship, and the bright camera flashes capturing the joy this event will bring.

I'm a "new girl" going to Allume. I don't have a perfect blog and I don't have a ton of internet friends that are dying to see me when I pull up in Harrisburg, but I have a God who loves me and has called me to go, so I'm going, with a suitcase of cute clothes and open expectations. I'm hoping blog improvement and new friends are a result of obedience, but if not, I know whatever God has planned for me is for my good.

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. ¹² Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.     Jeremiah 29:11-14

{31 Days to Getting Your Glow On} Day 8: Some 'Pinspiration'

I fell a little behind on my writing, but didn't want to leave the day blank, so I decided to throw some inspiring pins found on Pinterest here. Hope these encourage you as much as they do me! :)

                                                                         Source: 1.bp.blogspot.com via Brittany on Pinterest

                                                                        Source: wildflowerwind.tumblr.com via Brittany on Pinterest

                                                                       Source: bitsotruth.blogspot.com via Brittany on Pinterest

                                                                            Source: moneysavingmom.com via Brittany on Pinterest

                                                                               Source: Uploaded by user via Brittany on Pinterest

** This post is one of 31 I'll be writing as I join the Nester in her 31 Days of Blogging. You can see all the links to posts in this series here.

{31 Days to Getting Your Glow On} Day 7: Give Yourself a Break

From the very beginning of the Bible we see how important it is to take a day of rest, and that's what I want you to do today.

Rest in who He is.

Rest in knowing He loves you.

Rest in knowing He didn't make a mistake when He made you.

Rest in trusting He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion.

Let your heart rest today.

** This post is one of 31 I'll be writing as I join the Nester in her 31 Days of Blogging. You can see all the links to posts in this series here.

{31 Days to Getting Your Glow On} Day 6: You're Worth More Than Gold

One of my favorite things to do when I need a boost is listen to music, so as part of this series I wanted to share some encouraging songs with you that have a great message of getting your glow on.

The very first time I heard the song I'm sharing today I thought, "What a great song to share with my younger sister." She's going through her middle school years, a time I remember feeling awkward and people saying things that didn't really help much. I wanted her to realize that no matter how she may feel during this time in her life, she is worth so much more than gold.

Although this song has a younger feel to it, it's absolutely a message that all of us need to own - We're worth more than gold.



On the BrittNicoleVevo YouTube channel there's also a video of the story behind the song "Gold" that I thought I would share with you as well.



Don't let the hurtful things of this world steal your glow. You're worth more than gold!

** This post is one of 31 I'll be writing as I join the Nester in her 31 Days of Blogging. You can see all the links to posts in this series here.

{31 Days to Getting Your Glow On} Day 5: Confidence to Shine

On Tuesday's post I had a reader leave a great comment. I've been putting a lot of thought in how to respond and thought I would share it here today.

Shannon wrote:

{If you would like to see the link referenced in the comment you can visit it here.}

First, don't just accept who you are, be confident in who you are - There's a big difference. One side is backed up by boldness, the other is settling. It's hard to improve yourself when you're starting with a foundation of feeling like you're just settling. Confidence, on the other hand, says, "What I am is great, and is worthy of working to be even better." Own that you are a good mom, wife, employee, person, etc. Be confident in this and know that everyone has room to improve.

I think Shannon also mentioned a very important point: We have to grant ourselves grace. Even those who are confident mess up. No one is perfect, we all have room to improve, confident or not. We should never stop trying to be a better version of the person we're called to be - The real, true light we're suppose to be, not the perfect no-fault image that only exists in fairy tales, because as we see in the post mentioned in the comment, chasing after a false idea of who we think we're suppose to be doesn't bring us peace. It's only when we give up false pretenses, and work towards improving ourselves in the moment we've been given that peace comes.

I'm not going to lie, I've had a hard time writing this post because I struggle with it so much myself. What do you guys think?

** This post is one of 31 I'll be writing as I join the Nester in her 31 Days of Blogging. You can see all the links to posts in this series here.

{31 Days to Getting Your Glow on} Day 4: What are you Worshiping?

As I was doing my routine Facebook timeline surf the other morning I saw a quote a friend had as their status and felt it worked directly with what we're talking about this month. Before you can get your glow on, you need to figure out why it's not already working. What's holding you back from being everything you're suppose to be?

The quote was this:

Human beings are unceasing worshipers. We are not created TO worship, but rather we are created WORSHIPING. Who or what are you worshiping? - Mark Driscoll 

What are you worshiping? And don't answer this too quickly saying what you think is the "right" answer, but if you want change in your life then really contemplate what you worship. What do you spend your time thinking about, or as dictionary.com says, what do you "feel an adoring reverence or regard" towards? Knowing what's important to you, really, truly, important to you, is one of the first steps of working out the kinks of insecurity.

And here's how I see this in my own life... If I spend an unhealthy amount of time placing an inward praise on people who are skinnier than me, have less blemishes than me, have trendier clothes than me, etc. it's no wonder I'll never feel like I can compare. If those thoughts begin to consume my mind, than those are the things that I begin worshipping.

But if I change my perspective and place my praise on God, the one who created me into the unique being that I am, the one who ultimately provides the house my family lives in, the money to buy the clothes that we wear, I start to see what's really important.

Worship the Blesser, not the blessings.

** This post is one of 31 I'll be writing as I join the Nester in her 31 Days of Blogging. You can see all the links to posts in this series here.