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Love Wins, Spring is Coming, and He is in Control

The last few months haven't been my most shining moments. There's been sadness, I would even dare to say depression at times, and on any random day there's been about a 50% chance of gloominess.

I always feel guilty when I admit things like this. I have so many things going right in my life that I feel like an ungrateful jerk for expressing any frustration or struggles. I know we all have them, but so many people appear to handle these hardships so much more gracefully than I do.

These feelings hinder me from being all the things I want to be; a supportive and loving wife, a mother who is patient and a great role model for her children, an involved daughter and sister, and a listening and giving friend. Most of all, it tears me away from my foundation of faith. I begin to doubt what I believe in and doubt my worth. My body can be in a room full of people, but my soul feels absent and isolated. It becomes exhausting to smile and be happy, even just to carry on conversations, and those close to me start to see it firsthand. And to ask for help? That is one of the hardest things for me to ever do. Trust me when I say if I ever ask you to help me in any way it has taken me lots of working myself up to do it. I can't stand the idea of being anyone else's burden.

It's why I so often mention my husband in my Stop and Smell the Roses vlogs; because I see his effort in trying to give me breaks and help with the kids, and I appreciate those times he comes home from work and doesn't say a word about the fact that I still haven't showered that day or touched the laundry and/or dishes because I just don't have it in me. It's also the reason I have enjoyed doing the Stop and Smell the Roses vlogs at all; I love taking the time each week to think about what I'm grateful for.

As Easter came closer and closer this year my soul really started to revive. Maybe it's been the warm, sunny weather, but I believe it goes a lot deeper than that. I spent time with the boys talking to them about the true meaning of Easter and what it meant to our family. In my desire for them to learn I was reminded of the stories of the last days of Jesus. Good Friday came and thoughts of Jesus dying on the cross flooded my mind. To think, he did that for us, because He loved us so much and wanted to do the Father's will. Then Sunday came and it was a time of celebration. Knowing Sunday was coming was what made Friday bearable. Despite enduring intense pain and torture Christ defeated evil and Love won the battle. For those who loved Him, those were three very long, hard days, but He came back to show them the fulfillment of God's promises and love. No matter how lost everything may have appeared in the perspective of those following Christ here on earth, God was in control all along.

To my weary spirit this was a strong reminder that Love wins, Spring comes, and God is in control of it all. Why he allows certain things to happen I can't tell you for sure, but I know that when I come out of these times of gloominess I learn things about myself and why I need Him in my life. I'm reminded that I can't do it all in my own power.

I heard a song the other day that really hit home for me. I actually saw it on an encouraging blog I like to read called Inspired to Action. It's a song by Britt Nicole called "All This Time" and it says, "I hear these people asking me how do I know what I believe? Well I'm not the same me. That's all the proof I need!" I've seen God take the hard times in my past and shape them into great things. When I was young and moved to Tennessee I thought my world was over, but it was there that my faith was strengthened, where I met my future husband, and some of my best friends. When I found out I was pregnant and not married I was incredibly scared of the what the future held for me, but that pregnancy gave me one of the biggest, most incredible blessings my heart could have ever desired.

These guys? They are my little reminders that God has put some pretty amazing blessings in my life and each day is worth working through. It's worth going through the winter to get to the Spring. And God? He works ALL things for good.






And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28



6 comments:

  1. BEAUTIFUL post, Britt. I relate in SO many ways. Annnd, now I'm all teary-eyed. Love you, friend!

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  2. Love ALL pics. Please send to our email so I can save to iPad & on main computer. Thank you, Nana & Grandad

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  3. What a beautiful post!! You seriously have a gift when it comes to writing!

    Love all the pics, but that last family shot is just PERFECT!! Such a beautiful little family that God has blessed you with!! So glad you guys had a fabulous Easter!

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  4. Without sounding too stalkerish... LOVE your blog!

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  5. You have a way with words girl! Loved this post! I think we can all relate to feeling the way you are feeling. Glad that the vlogging has helped you! Adorable pics!

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  6. Right before I read this blog posting, I just read this article that a friend of mine had linked on facebook... http://powerofmoms.com/2012/04/your-children-want-you/
    I thought it was a great article too about moms...Anyway, thought you might be interested! Love reading your blog!

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